undoing.
2006-06-13 9:22 a.m.
had, rehashed, burnt up and buriedin the presence
now imagined
of former hands that taught me to be quiet, i take
the stage (last times, long times) and open
my mouth
dismembered.
teeth, they are made
to lose the taste, this language
which carried me so far from my own endings
now fails, and i am
defenseless, reading
this is a sham
this is a hold-up
this is a curcuit pulling up its mannerisms, to say
the men that haunt you come out again in great gasps, in criticism and
i cannot speak a word for what has happened until
a year has passed, as though
the time is what makes safety, is what makes distance, is what
saves me
from the depth of my own folly.
had, rehashed, burnt up and buried
in the presence
now imagined
of former hands that taught me to be quiet, i claim, i claim
i claim these words as my own
and they will not be influenced
by all might, by all the means,
by all the fear of male undoing.