track.
2006-08-01 6:16 p.m.
humble me,but do more than twist, do more than
change my form.
change my mouth.
change my direction.
don't break my bones, i do not heed their structure, do not
call integrity up to them, do not
believe
in righteous living.
i live.
i live.
there is
continuation, on my part, the history,
running up to the present, now seeks out its comfort in pages, does not
confront me, does not go against
what i have been saying.
say, there is order.
say, there is social learning.
say, i will
emphasize the moment with repetition, with the pull
at my back, the burn of my skin, with the
heat of religion, ignited, put out inside
of my stomach, little
gospel children waiting to rekindle, to fire forward
go vanquished, and i learn
the pressure of the water, the liquid legs of my ancestors
the ocean months upon them, carrying them over.
i do not give in to preconceptions, question hard, chose rough paths, sometimes
break, sometimes am bought, caught up
in my culture, sometimes
work until the working overthrows me, starts a heirarchy of progress
that i cannot master
and i battle, and i bray, and i
get so lost in repeating, in the language that has
led me,
that i slip into old patterns, cut my dresses out of paper, paste myself up
in bathrooms and under bridges, fling my hands
this is being veiled, this is being
thrown open.
torn, i will not muster up the merit of my family, will not
carry the same lines that they carried, will turn
as i have dealt myself to turning, will change,
will not look toward the future, will learn
contentment
in the places i have wandered, in my own seed
now reordered, in priorities forgotten. i will
not follow my mother into comfort, will toil
because i feel that toil is in order, will live
in the shelter of the relationships that i have fostered, secure in their duration, in their rise and climax, assured in their descent, as we spread the continents with walking, spread the distances between us, call up miles in homecomings.
all things meant, were meant to come in contact, to interact and then recover, to build up
to going over, to over flow and go back under, to life cycle and stumble.
all things meant
mean contentment
mean progression without effort, mean
interconnection
and we are all dependent
are all reliant
are all important
to each other.