switch.
2006-08-05 8:52 a.m.
how sullenly my hands
relinquish their freedom, make
compromises between
responsibility and living, force me
to concede, to give way, to
move this tired body.
i do not find repose in the order of the morning, in turning out the streets, light bulbs, directions out into the country, i have
memorized these houses, their supporters
gone for better comfort, left unheeded, left to follow natural order.
allow an ending, without feeling the fearof the immaterial, do not think
about god
watching over, blessing
the wood work and the creatures, think instead
decomposure, realignment, think
instead
morality as a cycle, and both end
meet -
there is death, adn there is
life.
no other.
so, body body, given to
aches, given to being
directed, goes choiceless, would not sustain (if vocal) these bruises, short sleep and long hours, stressors, lower back manipulations, bleary eyes and weakness
from not eating. body body, body
vocalizes in its own way, in purple skin and strong aches, in
muscles tearing hard into the bones that they have seduced into communion, in pinches, little prods, sharp nervous signals.
body body, body
speaks
in angst and suffering, in the fuse
blown up against my good friends, in shameful
displays, in not apologizing, in
leaving them to stay, stuck in what was once structure, to rot out and decay, to turn the city
full of country houses, to give myself that independence, nothing
allowed to intercede, to connect on my behalf
and carry me home, willing to be trustful.