the lie that made the truth seem right.

2005-10-22 11:11 a.m.

sometimes i am stark staring naked
in the face of my own absence
and regress, childhood a comfort,
to be innocent again

i am a hard woman she said
tilting back her head
and the doctor that is medicine incarnate
he congratulates her on her intelligence

we learn to be open,
stomachs riden level to throats, stopping
the pursuit of language
in search of breath

we learn full disclosure
with our hands out to be helpful
pretending that we know no better
that our actions have no consequences

but i am a field log of twisted arms
sent reaching back in times of trouble
and refusal leaves such sharp remarks
leaves such shallow bruises

that at times i hardly
recognize my body
knowing all the length its given
to trying itself out

invicible, and uninhibited.