baptism.
2006-05-10 12:29 p.m.
i am caught up in the idea behind the great isolation of living, of all of the touching without actually connecting,caught up in what actually happens when that isolation manifests itself whole heartedly in a limited population, and those disasterous results that lead to criticism.social learning theory and the concept of a fabricated reality, which are not so shaky when thinking over racism and the deference of sexes, the new distinction between sex and gender, the assumption on so many parts (just now really being born) that behavior fluctuates above classifications, and even now is recycled, bent back, made to grab at its own heels and call itself fallacy. tell me
how long will i wait, o host of the almighty, before these ships can pull their anchors and search again for better futures. tell me, o lord and blotless angels, how long it takes to reinvent these belief systems, so i can see the lake that i'm to swim in, so that i can fall once more
for this falsified creation.
i am partial, impartial, part tied to trying and the other half rekindling the ancient gentleness that led me peaceful, led me shy, led me forthright into my regretting. still, held tight, i find little access to progression, and am afraid to bind my hands in hopes of going under, of resurfacing a new creation given to old yearnings, that heart of humankind that split the middle of the mountains, that tore the curtains, that wrenched itself right up and died in bearing penance,
beware the curse it carries, for you will not know that it is heavy, that it will brand you with such insight, that you will be forgotten to role-playing and reduction, will reduce your waist by numbers and call the world,
look at my successes, i am free from former customs, i have taken needs and wants and managed to set them together, to push them aside until, face to face with that salvation, i take my hair down to my stomach, and saintly now,
i eat only what i have been given.