the nights looked longer

2005-10-03 1:40 p.m.

get comfortable
i bought us a house up in heaven
paying problems with precision
the indents of knuckles in my thighs

i'm unsure of what the appropriate reaction will be
when i come out of this. trance
one
trance
two
i'm arhythmic
fractured and fevered
unmotivated

the reality is so much more frightening than the secret
so,
listen,

we spent the afternoon passed out from all of the commotion
i had created
trying hard to keep control.

(my therapist,
she still thinks
maybe
schizophrenic)

(i'm waiting to be tested.)

collapse, the inability to move. trance
one
trance
two.

i'm arhythmic, beating out my fists
across long stretches of skin
and trying to pretend it never happened.