unrest.

2006-01-23 2:19 p.m.

i have only written this
because i feel
that i cannot compete with other women,
and i know
yes, i know
that that is shameful reasoning, but

let's be honest, sometimes,

maybe.

maybe tonight i will be
the one and only, the idolized and coveted,
the great and ever mighty

but why be this, when tomorrow
i will pack my fingers up, individually, one
by one
into little fists and hidden violence,
when i will

go raging at the walls, the streets, the steering wheel, my own hands
bound up in bottles, and taking long sips
my thighs, my knees

they're drunkards when i'm angry.

ask the indents in my ribs, why they weep
in times of comfort, why they stretch and thin
in the dead of winter, ask them

how long they plan to wait before revealing
their intentions, that they have shaped
softly into knuckles, that
they jab at me when i am sleeping.