letters.
2006-07-12 2:34 p.m.
vantage point -from here, i can see
all of the justice i have not done, the times
when i presented myself, dissonant
between what i would like to be
and what i was.
forgive me, i did not know
the depths in which i struggled, the heights that i had built up. i did not know
difficulty until this.
so i know that we loved truly, that we were
present, were
humbled and built up together, and i know for once
the depth of healthy tearing, of actual seperating. i am free
from that terror, from that work
of digging men out of my bones. i am left
learning to walk after you walked with me, training my hands and my mouth how to go without making those exchanges, thankful
to have passed these ghosts, to have met you, to have snuck in
years ago, poor excuses just to see you, my stomach shaking.
forgive me my publicity, i am ashamed
my fingers do their work and seek some structure, seek to work this through
until i'm clean, free standing.