on.
2006-07-16 3:05 p.m.
hard up, give all of these troublessome singificance, a reason
to continue - these paths
beaten down with feet
light and easy to carry
are beckoning, because
there is no direction, there is only going.
we will learn to accept
clipped sentences, short romance
on our backs, burns and bruises. i will
learn to respect
the walls and the doorframe, and i will not
be afraid of the river that once swayed me, my branches
caught in all the time i had spent lonely, searching
friendship out of lover's grips, unable
to manage,
to find the great solution.
self-construction, all assembly to hold accountable, such worth, such terrible
responsibility,
to say i am the gate, i am the body, i am the thought, i am the result
of my choices - how can i undo, how can i be certain, how can i relinquish
those sections of me, hardened, unable to grieve
without company or public. some years
ago
i was more humble, was less open, could be courteous and kind, did not impose
so fitfully
my feelings, crept
a ghost between decisions, a monastery living, ordered, put together, quiet
for all of the holiness once in me, now disregarded.