i am learning not to look back.

2006-02-27 5:08 p.m.

i am collapse in the middle of the country, my arms cuddling me to toilet seats and trash cans, singing comfort, singing salvation between dry lips

we've started talking again, staying up late at night and holding hands under the covers, or conquering our voices into hushed whispers, telling secrets,

(i loved him for years and when i told him)

(i've never really understood why i did that)

dissection.

my mouth opens more in large groups than it once did, and while i see no worth in being honest, i am truthful again, i am soft

and open booked

and eloquent in times of trouble, calling people from the safety of their homes into trusting, my tongue given up under the life behind it, to speaking, a constant -

this heat follows me, follows me awake and sleeping, puts soreness in my bones, crouches me, afraid of giving birth and hoping for disease, for passing

i am beset

beset beset

by troubles and their deeper meanings.

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