little faith.

2005-08-08 2:52 p.m.

i think i'm over it, until i realize
there's nothing to get over.

these are my two feet
stepping into their grave.

i think i've built a bridge
then i get suckered into crossing it.

i have very little trust
and even fewer accomplices.

i stabilize, and all my words are clinical
then i sink

shake me up
shake me up

let me go.

i want to love you, but i don't.

and it's his smile at seven in the morning that leads me to be convinced, young girl with her best defenses given in, pulled naked against the sheets, searching for him, he

thanks me for everything

and i wonder if there's something insidious waiting to happen, some climax to the great scheme of things to tell me i've fallen victim.

i've got the lock and key but i just can't (bring myself to) use them, so

this is heartache, bound up and waiting just to happen.

what proof is there to pull me from my fears, a month at most of long love turned inward, of better days, and then, i am
caught

pulling at my namesake for it's safety.

(i want something to last, but i know it is my folly. i want something to prove to me
that he could always love me.)

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