guarantee.
2006-08-09 3:23 p.m.
am iam i white as bones, brittle, mended together, sustained
on connecting to myself? am i
am i going to be okay
when the force comes again, sneaks up and catches me proceeding, pulls me back? am i
driving the wishes of good friends away, insecure
assured
that no one wants this battle? am i
reading too much into reactions? am i
collapsing?
am i in repose?
unanswerable, i clamor and i charge, headstrong my way into certainty, do not
heed the impulse to dwindle, to bury again until the next rising, to reincarnate.
long limbs, i fold myself together, no longer
thin as stalks, soft as fronds, trunk hard and slow going, immobilized sometimes
by the fear of what i am doing.
be direct.
be
ready.
be direct.
get
going.
no choice here, no willingness
to make it if there were, catch together with the situation, no one
breathes, speaks positively, smoke cigarettes and try to act sophisticated, no sophistication in me, built up
in worrying over protections, in being unable
to cover up my children, my little ones now hurting from one another, when the oppurtunity appears
i will have distanced, will have spread myself out in letters that i am unsure of, will have passed along the only wisdom i was given, will have sprouted, seeded, and forgotten my intentions.