steadyleaks.
2005-11-18 9:18 a.m.
iamwritingthisstorywithouttimetobreath,
giving
great
big
gasps
as indications of my existence. no one is listening, it's why i keep
going going going
please don't disbelieve me.
spying, the police at the door making empty threats, waiting for the man to make a mistake so they can
come in
some resistance, praying for a fight
glory.
i'vepressedmyselfintotheshapesofthealphabet,
curling
bythewindowin timesofindecision,tryingmyhands
attriggers,some amount of noise
thatmightgettheir attention.
let'spushfurther.
let'stryharder.
let's
open
this
up
atopicfordiscussion.
i'mnotreadysodon'ttrytopushme.i'mnotreadysodon'ttry,don'ttry,don'ttry
to push me.
action reaction, the bruises on my ribcage that take knuckles to account, i'msotired
bynow
ofscreaming that i want to sleep it off,
forget. a second chance.
forget.
i'm a floodgate with a steady leak.
i'm in the kitchen, pressing my palms out in service, displays -
all the fingers that have guilty heads, without a scapegoat. we were born in sin, gardening our heels in quick defense.
garnish these pages with what we owe, i'm tryingtopaymydebtsoffinlanguage, in
softactsofconception.
i don't think god is all that interested in my penance.
sometime in the morning,
the police are poised with their guns steady. waiting for a mistake to make heroes of them.
glory.