the meaning of collapse.

2005-10-30 2:49 p.m.

hit or miss, i could not make my mouth to make sentences, as disenchantment set in, to be catalouged and critiqued over the purpose of my body, which was mine alone and marked unholy

on larger scales than most, i went, my frail form tempted to bend under sure disaster, a commandeering effort, that courage took both hands, i've forgotten honesty

in trying to replace my characteristics with social lullabies, an exhibition on behaviors, my mouth froze closed
and i could not open it in gentle warnings, hands outstretched - i have begun to feel that i am wasting time until i can shake hands with that great means to an end, that i am filling up my life in anticipation

of that great and serious mistake that will mean my freedom, some entourage of phrases that will show my indecision left
scrawling their long faces over the walls and the windows

the great girl with the great mind has forgotten her convictions, has gone to
giving up the great ghost that tethered her to living.

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