anxiety
2005-08-01 9:54 a.m.
if you want honesty -i am shaking in my sheets, clinging to
keeping it together
i've been an actress my whole life
this is a nervous breakdown.
my steps wobble
my knees fold.
i'm kissing the cement in six different places,
hands, ankles, eyes,
you name it
i've been thinking about hospitalization
but i've seen hospitals
and oh god, not ever.
which means force when we come down to it
offhand comments send me reeling, catching at my calves
praying, forgive me although i am incriminated,
forgive me and my red hands for their secrets.
forgive me, although i am long damned.