we will be made, remade.
2005-12-22 9:05 a.m.
presentation, i have writtenthese lengthy letters
in remorse, stretching memories across their backs
scapegoats to keep me sinless, to keep my strength
intact.
retribution, what cycled when you left has been replayed, tape recorder nights spent
questioning your return, uneasy
as two weeks in california became a month, with weekly contact
.
i was not your wife then.
nor am i now, bereft of phonecalls and commitments, free finally from cycles, a believer
in rebirth from the beginning, and many times over, blessed
to have been through this before
(one time too many.)
you should write your will now, to say
you were sent like a savior in the fields, working your hands out in the country, and tell me
that you have come rebuilding mansions in your heaven, atreasure for eternal recognition.
i have already paid my debt, paid it out
in language, and the scapegoats that have kept me sinless are the lines i have left
knowing that you'd never read them.