complexity.
2005-10-27 8:54 a.m.
some danger found its way to sneakdown into my body, and waits
patiently
in the times when i am breathing,
leaving me unable to speak.
leaving me unable to see what is actually happening.
i am becoming
one in a million, a synthesis
defined by the paths that i have chosen
instead of taking meaning where i find it
hidden and waiting,
the way i once did
and all of this restructuring has left me
strange, hanging my legs from the trees
in hopes they'll catch, and keep me far from falling
it is faith that helps us to go against science, against gravity, against the push that made
some former pull compete, magnetics
are keeping me awake at night and uneasy, my head
crying comfort to the blankets and the sheets
and finding neither.
long,
we have pierced through our lips with timing, and when commitment tries to speak
some distraction
some limit to the amount our mouths can open
comes as a reminder of what i have been
and that what i am is no different.
struggle a few days to sidelines to come up close, the morning
making us connections, interwoven
what point in relationships if i do not
believe
in their ultimate function -
some continuance in this, some miscommunication
that has led our hands to grabbing one another in times of indecision
or leaves us reading the letters we will send to former friends
out loud
i am stepping on foreign feet
when they do no fit me.
a secret,
i,
of all people,
am waiting for the guidelines
the black and white that will clarify
all in between
and at the same time,
loud mouthed and open,
screaming
against the damage that experience has done me
about the need we all have to keep from knowing
what one another thinks
complexity, no man
is made to be complete
but they still want it,
some semblence of security to
mark them worthy
which is to say, the interest is what counts
when we get down to numbers,
when we forget ourselves
to this quiet course of action
and we might spend our whole lives
just faking this perfection
if it means we'll feel a little more at ease.